TX Gunman Kills Five, Including Child, With America's Favorite Freedom Maker, The AR-15

We should never consider this normal.

Wilson Garcia and his wife Sonia Guzman were trying to keep their baby asleep Friday night, but his Cleveland, Texas, neighbor Francisco Oropeza was shooting his gun in his yard, which is both distracting and terrifying. Garcia politely asked Oropeza to stop, but Oropeza — with all the swaggering bravado a gun provides — refused: His yard. His rules. (This is not actually true. Even Texas has some minimal rules about firearm discharge on private property.)

Garcia threatened to call the police, and Oropeza, who'd reportedly been drinking, went inside his house and returned with a AR-15 — the weapon of choice for mass shootings. He walked over to Garcia's home and shot and killed Guzman, who'd just called the police and was standing in the front door. The massacre continued, as Oropeza fatally shot four other people "almost execution stye" inside the home.

A devastated Garcia said in an interview: "He wanted to kill us all to leave no evidence."

One of the survivors of Oropeza's rampage told Edgar Sandoval at the New York Times how Oropeza shot his sister, nephew, and other loved ones. He hid his wife and their six-month-old in a closet. Sandoval tweeted, "He left Honduras 5 yrs ago to escape gang violence & found himself victim of America’s gun epidemic."

Sonia Guzman was 25. The FBI has identified the other victims as Diana Velazquez Alvarado, 21; Juliza Molina Rivera, 31; Jose Jonathan Casarez, 18; and eight-year-old Daniel Enrique Laso.

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Pentagon Leaker Idjit Was Caught Before He Could Do Any Mass Shootings

He seems nice.

Federal prosecutors argued at a hearing yesterday that Massachusetts Air National Guard guy Jack Teixeira needs to stay in jail before his trial for allegedly leaking classified Pentagon documents. The 21-year-old walking security risk should be detained until trial because he gave up a ton of military secrets for the sake of impressing his gamer dork friends on Discord, the prosecutors said. Teixeira also regularly talked about his desire to equip a minivan or SUV as an "assassination van" and to "kill a [expletive] ton of people," for the lulz we guess. The DOJ detention memo did not specify whether that was a shit ton of people or a fuck ton of people, nor whether, if it were the latter, he meant a metric or standard fuck ton.

Magistrate Judge David Hennessy didn't make an immediate decision yesterday on whether Teixeira will be kept in jail before trial, or to grant his attorneys' request that he be allowed to stay under supervision at his father's home, because he's a good boy who would definitely stay off the internet and there's no chance he'd flee.

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Joe Biden's Meeting With Tennessee Troublemakers Didn't Create Jobs (Because We Have Full Employment)

Oldie but a goodie.

President Joe Biden met Monday with the three Democratic members of the Tennessee House who were targeted for expulsion earlier this month because they joined students calling for stronger gun laws following the March 27 school shooting in Nashville. Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris welcomed Reps. Justin Jones, Justin Pearson, and Gloria Johnson to the meeting, where they talked about reducing the goddamn guns and saving democracy. Biden invited the three to the White House shortly after the Republican supermajority voted to expel Jones and Pearson on April 6; they both were returned to their seats as interim representatives by their respective counties.

In brief remarks before the closed door meeting began, Biden thanked the three for "standing up for our kids. You’re standing up for our communities — safer communities — and democratic values. That’s what it’s all about."

Here's the video:

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fox news

Tucker Just Saying Trans People Going To GET ALL THE GUNS AND MURDER YOU

Also had a fun idea for giving trans folks F-35s and tanks. We say why not?

REMEMBER WHEN! We will be spending much of the day throwing at your face some of our favorite old Tucker Carlson posts, or at least the ones Evan linked to yesterday, because that is a nice cheat sheet to start with. This post was originally published March 24, 2023.

Tucker Carlson wanted to talk about guns last night. Tucker has well-known masculinity issues and feels very threatened by LGBTQ+ people.

Mix those together in a bucket, why dontcha! And Tucker did. Good LORD.

His monologue was about how "The Democratic Party believes owning a gun is too much autonomy for you." (LOL.)

He sprinkled in other shit too, of course. He said people who support Ukraine are just conformists who think they specialize in "Eastern European border disputes." (By the way, that was the eighth sentence of his monologue. That's how long it took him to lick Vladimir Putin's taint and spread Russian propaganda in a monologue that wasn't even about Russia and Ukraine. He got back to Ukraine at the end. Handy bookends! Wonder if that's by design.)

And of course he claimed early and often that Democrats want to take your guns, just because they'd like to maybe ban the AR-15s that every white mass shooter seems to be able to get out of a vending machine. Gotta keep the white supremacist viewers scared!

But then it took a turn. A real weird turn.

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