Fuckin' A It's Not That Hard!

We'll Call It 'Grander For Sanders'

You can be heroes!


I've got a secret to tell you that I haven't told ANYBODY: I am a Warren person!

Oh I am just joshing, you all knew that already. What fun and #jokes we have here at the Winemom Cafe!

Now, after "Super" Tuesday, it is not looking good for our old gal. And I woke up this morning ... kind of okay with it, actually. I think it really really really helped I had a Mexican vacation last week. I have my opinions on both our current frontrunners, the B Almost Octogenarians Boys, and I sorely wish my fellow Americans had done what I wanted and made me the king of choosing presidents. But it did not happen. Maybe E Dubs will stay in! Maybe she really is gonna persist until there's no more persisting! It's crazy that people wanted her to drop out before Super Tuesday, since literally every contest so far had had a different winner, and yesterday's might have been hers! But it wasn't, and I am, extremely surprisingly, chill.

(It helps that I am envisioning Senate Majority Leader Elizabeth Warren. Will you join me?)

Joe's an all right fella in a lot of ways, but Bernie's more to my liking policy-wise, and damn oh damn I wish some of his worser followers weren't "worser." Because sure, not everybody lives on the Internet, but you do, and I do, and the reporters do. And for every "DON'T CALL ME A BRO" out there who's been alienating natural allies like most Warren supporters by telling us we just elected Trump and have blood on our hands, because somehow there is always a woman to blame, there is a media person seeing that shit and internalizing "BROS ARE ASSHOLES WHO WANT EVERYONE TO BEND THE KNEE," because of how that is what they themselves keep saying, out loud, with their mouths.

So I had an idea, and it is a free idea, and it is a sincere idea, and I'm literally not even being a bitch:

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Richard Dawkins And The Eugenics Argument That Literally No One Asked For

This is no way to live, Richard.

Yesterday, at 7:30 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time, evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins opened up Twitter, and for no discernible reason whatsoever launched a defense of eugenics that not a single person the whole wide world over had asked for. Well, not a defense of eugenics so much as a strange tirade about how believing that it would be bad for moral reasons shouldn't mean that people should assume it wouldn't "work."

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A Museum In England Has A Gender Neutral Bathroom And The Federalist Is On The Case!

There is a whole lot of stupid here.

Last month, a picture of a gender neutral restroom at the Charleston Trust, an art gallery located in a historic house in Lewes, England, caused a bit of a stir online — or at least in The Daily Mail — due to the presence of urinals in said gender neutral restrooms.

This may have been a fair criticism, if only there were not two separate gender neutral restrooms, one with urinals and one without, and also additional non-gender neutral bathrooms on the property as well. Options for everyone! It seems fairly obvious to me, or anyone else with half a brain, that the Charleston Trust had simply converted two non-gender neutral bathrooms into gender neutral bathrooms. Duh.

The Charleston Trust explained on Twitter that they opened the two gender neutral restrooms in September of 2018 to "help members of the queer and trans community feel safe with us, and to ensure disabled visitors who need assistance are not troubled by the gender of their carer." They then explained that the gender neutral restrooms with urinals are clearly labeled as such, and that they are looking into removing them in order "to make both toilet blocks truly gender-inclusive."

It is hard to see how anyone could actually have an issue with this. I mean, even if you really hate trans people, there is a non-gender neutral bathroom that you can use! What more could you want? And yet, a month later, The Federalist is on the case.

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Fuckin' A It's Not That Hard!

Rudy Giuliani: The Password Is 'ASSWORD'

Buckle up, chucklefux! This time it's WEIRD.

On Friday, after work, we decided to text one of our best friends to see what she was doing that night. So we pulled out our iPhone and typed "Hey, what you doing this evening," and then we laughed at ourselves because we realized we typed that INTO OUR GOOGLE SEARCH BAR, and we looked at ourselves in the mirror and said "OK Boomer," even though we are not a Boomer.

Speaking of that, computer genius cyber expert superlawyer Rudy Giuliani appears to have texted his password, or a password, to a reporter named Roger Sollenberger, who had just published a thing at BuzzFeed where Giuliani had confirmed some new Ukraine crimes for him, like Giuliani does all the time whenever he opens his mouth. And then it was a dark and stormy night, and Rudy went to a baseball game with Alan Dershowitz:

Two days after publication, on the evening he attended a Yankees playoff game with Alan Dershowitz, Giuliani — President Donald Trump's 75-year-old informal cybersecurity adviser — accidentally texted me what appeared to be a password: Eight characters, beginning with the name of a networking company and including a capital letter, a special character, and a number. Multiple IT experts confirmed it could be nothing else, and, given the iPhone's messaging setup, impossible to type with your butt or in any other unwitting way.

Au contraire, Roger Sollenberger! Maybe Rudy Giuliani's butt just has remarkable dexterity! But is he left-cheeked or right-cheeked? That is what enterprising journalists need to find out.

Sollenberger decided to be nice and say hello, my dude, you appear to have just given me your password, and Rudy said no I gave you my ASSWORD!

I alerted him. He replied, "Oh, that was just a butt dial," but thanked me, punctuated with a smiley-face emoji.


OK, so obviously "Rudy Giuliani, Cyber Expert" is a running joke at this point, because he is BAD AT CYBER.

But this story is just beginning!

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