Trump Won An Entire Golf Tournament While He Was At Diamond's Funeral Whining. How? STAMINA!
This brings the cheating to a new level, sounds like.
We all know what a superathlete with impressive body and not-at-all misshapen penis Donald Trump is, right? Yes even though he believes exercise is the silent killer. You can tell how impressive of body and normal of penis he is by looking at his Superman trading cards, which are an accurate representation of what he looks like, or by asking former White House doctor and current Republican Rep. Ronny Jackson, whose perceptive abilities on that front definitely aren't impaired.
Another thing we know? Trump follows the rules of games. Especially golf. That's right, he follow the rules of the game of golf, and he follows the rules of the game of life.
The Daily Beast reports that Trump managed to win the golf tournament at the Trump International Golf Club in south Florida this weekend, even though he was a million miles away in Fayetteville, North Carolina, at the funeral for the "Diamond" half of Diamond and Silk, where he spent most of his time as the officiant bitching that they didn't tell him how long the funeral was going to be. Also being confused who this "Silk" person was. As if Diamond had a solo career and Trump wasn't familiar with her collaborative work.
So yeah, the first day of the tournament Trump "won" was the funeral, in North Carolina. And then on Sunday he "won."
Yay!
He announces this because it is just like a physical exam, winning this golf tournament! He is very good at golf, and he is very good at stamina!
Fuck, he is like his own personal North Korean news lady, it is amazing.
After that — while also bitching about RUSSIA HOAX and WITCH HUNT and Allen Weisselberg being in prison (LOL) and calling Mika Brzezinski "Mike" and calling Elaine Chao "Coco Chow" and insinuating that maybe "Coco Chow" helped Joe Biden store classified documents in Chinatown — he also started "retruthing" shit like this:
You know, because he is so good at sports.
The Beast, quoting from Daily Mail (which we don't feel like clicking on), says when Trump got to his tournament on Sunday, he had a five-point lead already.
¿Qué? you ask?
Well, it's simple:
The outlet reported that Trump boasted of having played an excellent round earlier in the week, and that that game would count as his first day’s score.
Exactly. That is how sports games work. If you have a scheduling conflict, you just play your side whenever and then use that score.
When asked about the discrepancy, Trump campaign spokesperson Steven Cheung told The Daily Beast, “In addition to being an excellent golfer, President Trump is an even better human being. He was honored to be in North Carolina on Saturday to celebrate the life of Diamond, a remarkable individual whose legacy will continue to live on.”
Okeydoke.
Reminder:
Trump has long maintained that he has never once, ever, cheated at the game of golf—and that he’s come by his many, many club championship titles honestly. In 2019, however, sportswriter Rick Reilly disputed the then-president’s claims, telling Vox, “This guy cheats like a mafia accountant.”
“Trump’s going around telling people he has won 20 [club championships],” Reilly said elsewhere in the interview. “But that’s 100 percent a lie. I actually played with him once, and he told me how he does it: Whenever he opens a new golf course, because he owns 14 and operates another five, he plays the first club champion by himself and declares that the club championship and puts his name on the wall.”
Same way he treats presidential elections. Anything else would be RIGGED and STOLLEN.
OPEN THREAD.
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Charlie Kirk Unveils New White Christian Martyr, It Is Hockey Player Who Wouldn't Wear Gay Jersey
Also would not use the gay hockey stick.
Oh lordy, the white MAGA masculinity warriors have found themselves a new Jesus, and go figure, it is a Russian hockey player who has triumphed over the oppression visited upon him by LGBTQ+ people. Or rather, he triumphed over a gay hockey jersey. Because he didn't want to wear it. Because he was scared Russian Orthodox Jesus would swat him on the bottom right there on the ice hockey rink if he wore the jersey.
This is what is called religious freedom, and it is very serious business.
Ivan Provorov plays for the Philadelphia Flyers, which recently had a Pride Night, as so many sports teams do. There was a pregame skate, where the players wore the gay jersey. Ivan did not want to wear the jersey, so Ivan did not do the preskate. And this is why Ivan's name will end up in the book of martyrs. “I respect everyone. I respect everybody’s choices,” said Ivan, like a sneering idiot who was taught by very stupid people that sexuality and gender identity are some casual choice. “But my choice is to stay true to myself and my religion. That’s all I’m going to say.” Whatever, buddy.
For his actions, Provorov was burned at the stake faced no consequences, actually. His coach said fine, it's about his religion, and said he didn't ever think about benching the dude. Of course the team persisted in being all supportive of LGBTQ+ people, which probably victimized the dude a whole lot.
The Washington Post points out that the current patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church, Kirill, said back in March that the war in Ukraine was right and just because of gay pride parades.
“Today there is a test for the loyalty to this new world order, a kind of pass to that ‘happy’ world, the world of excess consumption, the world of false ‘freedom.’ Do you know what this test is? The test is very simple and at the same time terrible — it is the gay pride parade.”
Indeed, there's a major religious aspect to what really is Russia's holy war against Ukraine, and the leader of the Russian Orthodox Church is not so much a religious leader per se as he is a viciously anti-LGBTQ asshole who lives all the way up Vladimir Putin's ass.
The geopolitical context seems pertinent.
So that is the white MAGA weenuses' new martyr, may his memory be a blessing, but don't worry, he got better.
\u201cIvan Provorov has principles. The NHL does not. \n\nGod bless Ivan Provorov!\u201d— Charlie Kirk (@Charlie Kirk) 1674061839
Oh for fucks sake.
So Charlie Kirk is positively creaming himself over this.
Let us look at the most pathetic thing in the world, from Kirk's show yesterday. The National Hockey League (NHL) has been "taken over by the LGBTQ mafia," and "The people that came out of the closet now want you to live in the closet," said Charlie. (Hahahaha, sounds like a movie trailer for a SCARY HORROR MOVIE!)
CHARLIE KIRK: The NHL really has been captured by Canadian influences in more ways than one.
He means gay.
I was watching this clip of this fellow, I don’t know who he is or, I’m sure we could get his title, but he’s just ranting on TV and he says, nothing makes me more angry than when you do not participate in my night of inclusion. I’m going to force you to be involved in our inclusion night. Really? Is that what inclusion is all about?
We bet that's exactly what happened.
I thought it was supposed to have all different perspectives. Diversity is our strength, no, no, no, no, no. It’s diversity is our strength as long as you wear the rainbow flag. As long as you participate in the new replacement civil religion that is birthed out of the LGBTQ alphabet mafia.
We've explained it a thousand times, but "diversity" doesn't mean including the perspectives of both the Jewish people and the Nazis, it doesn't mean including the perspectives of both Black people and the Ku Klux Klan, and it doesn't mean including the perspectives of LGBTQ+ people and also the religious conservatives who want to see them eliminated.
Fuck. You.
The best way to explain the kind of, new alphabet mafia is the people that came out of the closet now want you to live in the closet.
LOL.
It’s not about inclusivity, it’s about revenge.
Such withering snowflakes.
OK, so you have Ivan Provorov, did I say that right, Provorov, OK. He refused in the warmups to wear a rainbow flag jersey because he said it goes up against his Russian Orthodox religion, which is exactly right. And he also refused to use their hockey stick.
Not the gay homosexual hockey stick.
NHL Flyers defenseman, on refusing to wear the rainbow jersey for warmups, God bless him, seriously.
God bless him, didn't wear the shirt during warmups, seriously, just like the hero in the Mariah Carey song.
I’m not trying to bash hockey players, what I am is, I am incredibly critical and bothered by how another institution, another cultural practice has been completely taken over by the LGBTQ mafia.
He's so mad. In the full clip he demands that if his listeners like hockey, they explain themselves to him, Charlie Kirk, because him, Charlie Kirk, is mad at hockey and wants hockey to fail, because gay.
Charlie Kirk is an emotionally healthy and mentally stable man.
You betcha for sure.
[Washington Post / Media Matters]
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It's Biden With The Basketball Guys! That's Always Fun!
Live on WonkTV!
Remember how The Sports never wanted to go to the White House when Donald Trump was president, because he was vile and disgusting and everybody hated him, but now they like it again?
Anyway, the Golden State Warriors are at the White House today to celebrate winning the big NBA championship last year, and Steph Curry is always nice to look at, so we will watch this video together.
DON'T SEND THE BASKETBALL PLAYERS HOME WITH CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE BUTTERSCOTCHES, OLD HANDSOME JOE.
Enjoy it, Golden State. This could very well be the year Ja Morant and the Memphis Grizzlies are COMING FOR Y'ALL.
We are just saying.
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Laura Ingraham Also Too Got Humiliated On Live TV This Week
Steve Almond is the best Fox News guest ever.
If you're reading this on Friday morning, you are probably celebrating the election of our new consensus House speaker, "Some Guy Gaetz And Boebert Picked Up At The Bar At Hooters." Good luck, guy from the Hooters bar!
But we didn't want you to miss Laura Ingraham's greatest career moment this year, which happened on Wednesday night. This is also IN CONTENTION for the best Fox News interview of the week. The other one is in another post this morning, WE REPORT YOU DECIDE.
Anyway, Ingraham was interviewing an author named Steve Almond, who has some feelings about how maybe football is not such a good idea anymore, considering all the brain damage and so forth. He wrote a book on the subject.
As we said, it was Wednesday, which means it came before the incredible news that Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin is awake and according to his doctors, as of Thursday, he appears not to have suffered permanent neurological damage. It's still going to be a long road, they say.
But obviously, Fox News and other rightwing freakshows have to turn this into a THEY ARE COMING FOR YOUR PENIS MASCULINITIES!!!1!111 story, to make their incel viewers shit their pants. So Ingraham invited the guy who wrote the book about ending football. She obviously thought she could use him as a punching bag.
It did not go that way.
Here's the part where Almond said the NFL would make football safer when it has an economic incentive, and compared it to how Fox News throws money at settling lawsuits when its hosts are accused of sexual harassment. Bad PR is bad PR!
Ingraham HATED that.
\u201cOh shit he went there\u201d— Acyn (@Acyn) 1672889449
Some transcript from Daily Beast:
“It’s like at Fox News when you have hosts who are allegedly sexually harassing people,” he said. “Fox News throws money at that to make that PR problem go away.”
“That’s a cute little move,” Ingraham would say shortly afterward. “I’m trying to get you to answer a question.”
She also tried to say "nobody has done more to expose" something or another, but she cut herself off. Not sure whether she was going to say nobody had done more to expose sexual harassment than she herself personally, or Fox News, or "nobody has done more to expose their penis." Probably best that she started a whole different sentence right then.
Then there was this clip, where Almond made fun of Ingraham trying to scare her fans with tales of a "mythic woke mob" that's coming for their foo'ball. She pretended to be appalled at the suggestion that her entire career is built on trying to scare her dumbfuck viewers.
\u201cIngraham: Football is not about politics. It's not about politics. You're making it about politics.\u00a0\nAlmond: That's your entire economic model. That's to scare your viewers. That's your whole gig.\u201d— Acyn (@Acyn) 1672892065
“I’m focused on the fans and what I essentially believe, which is not that any government ban is going to make football safer, and certainly not some mythic woke mob that you mentioned to try to scare your viewers,” Almond said.
Ingraham interjected that she is not “trying to scare the viewers,” and that the sport is “not about politics.”
“Oh, I think that’s your entire economic model,” Almond responded. “Your entire economic model is to scare your viewers. That’s your whole gig.”
Factcheck TRUE.
Without making the white geriatric idiots who watch Fox News shit their Depends, there is literally no reason for Fox News to exist. That's the business model.
Here's how the interview ended, with Almond again noting that the NFL will fix it when there's an economic incentive to do so, and this time compared it to the time Ingraham had to apologize after she was disgusting to a child who survived the Parkland mass shooting, which caused her advertisers to flee.
Watch how fast Ingraham ends it.
INGRAHAM: But underneath it all, you seem to have a belief that football has — has a history based in racism and a celebration of the fans of violence. And what I'm saying to you is, I think — I don't know what kind of fan base you're going to, they don't celebrate violence. They're there to enjoy the game and celebrate the talent.
ALMOND: I don't think the fans celebrate violence. I agree with you, Laura. I don't think the fans are celebrating the violence. I think they tolerate the violence and they see when somebody like Damar Hamlin is almost killed in front of them — or I remember watching Darryl Stingley get paralyzed as an 11-year-old — and I didn't stop watching football. And lots of fans don't stop watching football because they enjoy it so much because it's so thrilling. The reason that people change their behavior is because there's an economic incentive. A couple of years ago when you taunted a survivor of Parkland mass shooting, you apologized because advertisers withdrew from your show and —
INGRAHAM: Steven, nice try little buddy. Nice try buddy, I appreciate it. This is what they always do, but we're going to welcome all points of view on the show.
Yeah, little buddy, NICE TRY. You sure did SUCCEED at reminding everybody what shit-mouthed gargoyle trash Laura Ingraham really is, NICE TRY LITTLE BUDDY.
Fucking asshole probably scoffed herself to sleep the last two nights after that interview.
In related news, here is Noted Masculine Person Matt Walsh explaining why girls can't possibly understand Man Things like football, not the way Noted Masculine Person Matt Walsh understands them.
\u201cDaily Wire host: "Football is not for women. There might be some women who get into it. But it's not really for women. It's not for you. You don't understand it. You're not meant to understand it"\u201d— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1672950760
You can tell Matt Walsh oozes masculinity by his ill-fitting clothes, his gross, ungroomed shitbeard, and his Supercuts haircut.
It's a Man Thing, you wouldn't understand.
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