Trump Won An Entire Golf Tournament While He Was At Diamond's Funeral Whining. How? STAMINA!

This brings the cheating to a new level, sounds like.

We all know what a superathlete with impressive body and not-at-all misshapen penis Donald Trump is, right? Yes even though he believes exercise is the silent killer. You can tell how impressive of body and normal of penis he is by looking at his Superman trading cards, which are an accurate representation of what he looks like, or by asking former White House doctor and current Republican Rep. Ronny Jackson, whose perceptive abilities on that front definitely aren't impaired.

Another thing we know? Trump follows the rules of games. Especially golf. That's right, he follow the rules of the game of golf, and he follows the rules of the game of life.

The Daily Beast reports that Trump managed to win the golf tournament at the Trump International Golf Club in south Florida this weekend, even though he was a million miles away in Fayetteville, North Carolina, at the funeral for the "Diamond" half of Diamond and Silk, where he spent most of his time as the officiant bitching that they didn't tell him how long the funeral was going to be. Also being confused who this "Silk" person was. As if Diamond had a solo career and Trump wasn't familiar with her collaborative work.

So yeah, the first day of the tournament Trump "won" was the funeral, in North Carolina. And then on Sunday he "won."


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Right Wing Extremism

Charlie Kirk Unveils New White Christian Martyr, It Is Hockey Player Who Wouldn't Wear Gay Jersey

Also would not use the gay hockey stick.

Oh lordy, the white MAGA masculinity warriors have found themselves a new Jesus, and go figure, it is a Russian hockey player who has triumphed over the oppression visited upon him by LGBTQ+ people. Or rather, he triumphed over a gay hockey jersey. Because he didn't want to wear it. Because he was scared Russian Orthodox Jesus would swat him on the bottom right there on the ice hockey rink if he wore the jersey.

This is what is called religious freedom, and it is very serious business.

Ivan Provorov plays for the Philadelphia Flyers, which recently had a Pride Night, as so many sports teams do. There was a pregame skate, where the players wore the gay jersey. Ivan did not want to wear the jersey, so Ivan did not do the preskate. And this is why Ivan's name will end up in the book of martyrs. “I respect everyone. I respect everybody’s choices,” said Ivan, like a sneering idiot who was taught by very stupid people that sexuality and gender identity are some casual choice. “But my choice is to stay true to myself and my religion. That’s all I’m going to say.” Whatever, buddy.

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It's Biden With The Basketball Guys! That's Always Fun!

Live on WonkTV!

Remember how The Sports never wanted to go to the White House when Donald Trump was president, because he was vile and disgusting and everybody hated him, but now they like it again?

Anyway, the Golden State Warriors are at the White House today to celebrate winning the big NBA championship last year, and Steph Curry is always nice to look at, so we will watch this video together.


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fox news

Laura Ingraham Also Too Got Humiliated On Live TV This Week

Steve Almond is the best Fox News guest ever.

If you're reading this on Friday morning, you are probably celebrating the election of our new consensus House speaker, "Some Guy Gaetz And Boebert Picked Up At The Bar At Hooters." Good luck, guy from the Hooters bar!

But we didn't want you to miss Laura Ingraham's greatest career moment this year, which happened on Wednesday night. This is also IN CONTENTION for the best Fox News interview of the week. The other one is in another post this morning, WE REPORT YOU DECIDE.

Anyway, Ingraham was interviewing an author named Steve Almond, who has some feelings about how maybe football is not such a good idea anymore, considering all the brain damage and so forth. He wrote a book on the subject.

As we said, it was Wednesday, which means it came before the incredible news that Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin is awake and according to his doctors, as of Thursday, he appears not to have suffered permanent neurological damage. It's still going to be a long road, they say.

But obviously, Fox News and other rightwing freakshows have to turn this into a THEY ARE COMING FOR YOUR PENIS MASCULINITIES!!!1!111 story, to make their incel viewers shit their pants. So Ingraham invited the guy who wrote the book about ending football. She obviously thought she could use him as a punching bag.

It did not go that way.

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