foreign policy

Oh Damn, Joe Biden Is Bringing Brittney Griner Home

Wonderful news to wake up to.

Well good morning to the Biden administration, which has apparently figured out how to do some diplomacy with the world's vilest, most garbage national leader.

WNBA star Brittney Griner has been released, just weeks after she was transferred to a Russian penal colony. In exchange, we gave Russia an arms dealer named Viktor Bout. We can't wait to read all the hot takes from conservative white Americans about why ACTUALLY that guy was too dangerous to prisoner swap and we should have just left the Black lesbian to rot in a Russian labor camp instead.

Brittney Griner, the WNBA star who was held for months in Russian prisons on drug charges, was released Thursday in a one-for-oneprisoner swap for international arms dealer Viktor Bout, CBS News learned early Thursday from a U.S. official. The one-for-one exchange agreement negotiated with Moscow in recent weeks was given final approval byPresident Biden within justthe last week, according to sources familiar with the deal. The swap, first reported by CBS News, took place on Thursday in the United Arab Emirates.

This morning President Biden was awake in the Oval Office bright and early with Vice President Kamala Harris and Griner's wife Cherelle, and they've been in contact with Brittney, who will be medically evaluated and so forth.

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National Politics

Marjorie Taylor Greene Gives Putin Preview Of What It's Gonna Be Like Come January

How much will this shit matter? Remains to be seen.

Before the midterms, Greg Sargent had an article in the Washington Post about how Congress could "crazyproof" things for America in the lame duck session in the event of a Republican takeover. One of the items on the to-do list would be to lock in funding for Ukraine for a long time, to keep Republicans who are literally siding with the enemy (Vladimir Putin) from being able to cripple Ukraine or even give off the perception that American support might be wavering. How many of that type of Republican exists in Congress? Hard to tell, honestly.

Obviously, there is a pro-Russia caucus, which is also the most extreme MAGA caucus.

Kevin McCarthy: Vote For Republicans If You Hate Ukraine!

MAGA Republicans Gonna Investigate Biden For That Nuclear War He Started With Russia

Your Two-Week Reminder That Putin REALLY Wants Republicans To Win The Midterms

The good news is that Putin did not get what he wanted. There was no red wave. It was more like a red skidmark. Democrats kept the Senate, and Republicans will "control" the House, in the most uncontrollable way possible. It will be a technical majority, but that majority will basically be Marjorie Taylor Greene and whatever fart clouds follow her around. Have fun with that, Kevin McCarthy!

Regardless, it's not ideal. There will be a lot like this video of Kentucky GOP Rep. James Comer, an absolute dumbfuck among men, who got so mad yesterday that reporters didn't want to take their pants off and fap angrily about Hunter Biden along with the rest of the Republican Hunter Biden Angry Fapping Coalition:

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fox news

Sean Hannity Knows What He'd Do If He Was Poland, He'd Be Like BAM! BAM! And Russia'd Be Like OH SH*T, YO!

War strategies.

Good news! It looks like that missile that fell on Poland yesterday and killed two people was not from the Russians, even though it was Russian-made. Lotta Russian-made stuff floating around those parts. NATO's secretary general and the president of Poland say it likely came from Ukraine, that Ukraine was defending itself from a Russian attack, and a missile landed in Poland accidentally.

It would have been a big deal, obviously. If Russia hits a NATO country and NATO chooses to acknowledge it as such, then NATO would have to respond, on account of that whole "attack on one is an attack on all" thing. And if Vladimir Putin were to try some shit to distract/escalate, the timing could possibly make sense, what with the liberation of Kherson in Ukraine, which Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy says is the "beginning of the end" of the war. Also, Democrats kept the United States Senate and Republicans only hung on by the tiniest of threads in the House, which means funding for Ukraine is probably more secure than Putin was hoping it would be.

But they're saying the Polish strike was an accident.

Let's let that be a lesson about jumping the gun. Hey, we even jumped the gun a little bit when we heard a Russian missile had hit Poland, when we immediately were like "U HAPPY NOW, TULSI GABBARD?" We don't feel bad about it, because she can take a hike, but we're willing to acknowledge it.

Know who REALLY jumped the gun? Sean Hannity, who was on the radio when the news broke, and had hardly any information about what had happened, but that didn't matter because he was already in Russia, retaliating. We have video:

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It's Well Past Time To Free Brittney Griner

This must end.

Last week, Brittney Griner turned 32. Her birthday celebrations were likely muted because she remains a Russian prisoner.

The WNBA star and two-time Olympic gold medalist has been wrongfully detained since February 17, after Russian Federal Customs Service officials say they found vape cartridges that contained hashish oil in Griner's luggage at the Sheremetyevo airport near Moscow. We have zero reason to trust Russian authorities or the Russian judicial system.

Five months later, Griner pleaded guilty to drug charges in a Russian court. After five months in Russian custody, she might've confessed to setting the Chicago fire. That doesn't prove her guilt. Although, that was enough for Donald Trump, who dismissed Griner as "spoiled" and took Russia's side over an American citizen.

Griner was sentenced to nine years in prison in August during a standard sham trial that ignored most of the defense's argument, as well as her guilty plea. (Griner has a medical marijuana prescription in Arizona.) She received close to the maximum. Her attorneys appealed, but the sentence was upheld on Tuesday. Earlier this month, Brittney's wife, Cherelle Griner, said, "Once that hearing is held and the order is finalized … she could be moved to a labor camp ... My brain can’t even fathom it."

Experts believe the length of Griner's sentence is politically motivated because ... well, duh. The US has helped defend Ukraine against Putin's unprovoked invasion. She's a political prisoner.


Totally Trustworthy Russia Detains WNBA Star Brittney Griner On Totally Legit Drug Charges

Trump Pretty Sure US Should Let ‘Spoiled’ Brittney Griner Rot In Russian Prison

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