Right Wing Extremism

Marjorie Taylor Greene Gonna Ban 'This Pornhub,' AKA The Hunter Biden Website She Just Found Out About

You know how America is always on This Pornhub, getting its Hunter Biden fix.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is furious. Know that thing when your mom finds out some guy at school has been teaching you how to smoke drugs and that it's OK to skip your daily homophobic prayers to QAnon deities? And your mom is like "Who is THIS friend of yours? THIS Trevor! Does THIS Trevor have parental supervision? I don't want you hanging out with THIS Trevor anymore!"

Except MTG is not mad at This Trevor, instead she is mad at This Pornhub, which she found out about just now, and which she apparently thinks is mostly a website of Hunter Biden nakeds. THIS Pornhub!

It was the Putnam County Lincoln Reagan Dinner in Ohio, and she had words for THIS Pornhub:


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Sex

Despite Republican Freakouts, Michigan To Legalize LIVING TOGETHER, Even For Humans

People can cohabit as 'lewdly and lasciviously' as they want, but may want to close the blinds.

In Michigan's state Senate Wednesday, a bill to finally repeal a long-disused (because it's literally unconstitutional) 1931 law forbidding unmarried couples from living in sin easily passed, so hooray, once the House passes it and Gov. Gretchen Whitmer signs it, the state's legal code will be rid of one more "zombie law" clogging up the statutes. Then Michiganders won't have to worry about being sentenced to a year in prison and fined up to $1,000, unless of course they have a time machine so they can go back to the Roosevelt administration (any of them) to shack up and fuck.

That's pretty neat and good-governmenty, and we are thrilled to let you know that some states are acting like it's the 21st century, great job, everyone enjoy your modern jet packs, brain uploads, and sex robots, have a nice day, the end.

Oh, you sillies went and read the headline, so now I have to tell you the rest of the story, don't I? You in the back there, put that sexbot away. Yes, even if it does look just like a Telefunken U47. Because of course the bill didn't get a unanimous vote in the state Senate, even though, as we note, it is not merely unenforced and antiquated, it's unconstitutional under Lawrence v Texas, at least until the Supreme Court throws that out.

Oh. Maybe that's why nine Republicans voted to keep the ban on cohabitation.

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fox news

Just A Couple Normal White Guys Talking About Boning And Breeding

Tucker did two nights of Elon Musk interviews, because of course he did.

Tucker Carlson and Elon Musk had a televised conversation about boning and breeding last night.

The only weird thing is that they didn't have this conversation sitting nut-to-nut in a His-and-His testicle tanning device. They should have done that.

But come on, Wonkette. Aren't all Tucker Carlson interviews, at heart, conducted sitting inside nut-to-nut, His-and-His testicle tanning devices? At least metaphorically? We've all seen his daytime studio.

Anyway, Tucker asked Elon Musk, who has a weird disgusting filthy kinky obsession with breeding, about why people don't even want to breed anymore. Tucker has constant freakouts over low testosterone. It's part of his general masculine insecurity. He's obsessed with sperm counts, but only in the "Western world." Tucker has constant freakouts over non-white people from Not America coming into to America and — one might say — Greatly Replacingwhite Americans "legacy Americans." It's part of his general white supremacy legacy supremacy, which also appears to be linked to his general masculine insecurity.

So Tucker — this freak — needed to ask Elon Musk — that freakabout breeding. Surprise, that freak decided to say some really weird shit about how abortion and birth control are going to end all of civilization:


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Culture Wars

Texas Wingnut Says Dirty Book Ban Would Include 'Lonesome Dove.'  Not A Good Move In Texas.

May as well serve salsa that's made in New York City.

We missed this when it happened a little over a week ago, so a Saturday seems like a great time to catch up. Texas state Rep. Jared Peterson (R) is pushing HB 900, a school censorship bill he disingenuously calls the "READER Act," aimed at keeping "sexually explicit" books out of school libraries. (The acronym stands for "Restricting Explicit and Adult-Designated Educational Resources," so it's really more of a Don't be a Reader act.)

The bill would require book vendors to label all books that contain any sexual content as either "sexually relevant," meaning it's allowable under required school curriculum, like sex ed or health, or "sexually explicit," meaning it's offensive and smutty and cannot be sold to schools. There's no other category.

Parents would have to give express written permission for their kids to check out the "sexually relevant" materials, and the other kind would simply be removed. Later this year, vendors would also have to give schools a complete list of past sales, too, identifying books with any mention of sex with one label or the other. Any vendor found to have left filthsexporn books off the list would be barred from ever selling books to Texas schools again.

And just to clean up any cases where a book seems filthy but isn't quite explicit, the bill also "permits the exclusion from a school library of materials that are pervasively vulgar or educationally unsuitable," which we'll assume is some kind of Captain Underpants clause.

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