Would YOU Pass Florida Governor Ron DeSantis' First Date Test?

Would YOU Pass Florida Governor Ron DeSantis' First Date Test?

There's a very famous scene in the movie A Bronx Tale, where Chazz Palminteri tells C, our young protagonist, the trick to finding out if the girl he is out with is worth seeing again. It's "the door test."

"Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right?," he says. "Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her."

Palminteri then explains that it's a test to see if she's thoughtful or selfish, which is actually pretty clever.

A Bronx Tale - The Door Testwww.youtube.com

Of course, this may later have become a test, in real life, of whether or not one had seen A Bronx Tale, but it did make a certain amount of sense.

Lots of people have little tests like that. Ron DeSantis had a test like that — though because he's a lot more of a cafone than Chazz Palminteri was in that movie, his test was not for thoughtfulness but for unquestioning submission and a willingness to pretend he was smarter than she was.

Via Financial Times:

At Yale, he also found refuge at the Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity, an athlete-heavy club that featured barrels of beer and prominent former members, including the Bushes and Supreme Court justice Brett Kavanaugh. In his recent pandemic memoir, What Just Happened: Notes on a Long Year, the author and critic Charles Finch recalled two things about his former classmate, known then as “D”: he did an uncanny impression of baseball star Jose Canseco and, according to a friend, would tell dates he liked Thai food, but pronounced it “thigh”. If they corrected him, Finch wrote, he would find an excuse to leave. “He didn’t want a girlfriend who corrected him.”

Of course he didn't.

I can't help but feel some kind of relief knowing that I would dodge a Ron DeSantis-sized bullet even before I knew he was a jackass. I absolutely would correct someone who said that, not for reasons of pedantry — I certainly wouldn't do it in a mocking way or in front of other people — but for the same reason I would tell them if they had spinach in their teeth or toilet paper attached to their shoe. Because I care and would not want them to make a fool of themselves in front of others or take that act on the road. I would hope that someone would care enough about me to tell me, in a kind and gracious way, when I'm incorrect or have accidentally tucked my skirt into my tights.

DeSantis, however, wants to be a naked Emperor. He actually wants the power surge of going around pronouncing something a ridiculous way and having people, women in particular, just go along with him because they wouldn't dare correct him. Much like whether or not one unlocks a driver-side door on a date, that tells us a lot about his character. And it doesn't say anything too good.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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