House Freedom Idiots Gon' Frag Speaker Kevin McCarthy? Maaaybe!

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy was so desperate to wield the gavel he might as well have surrendered his voice to Ursula the sea witch. She at least made her victims sign an iron-clad contract. God knows what sort of deal McCarthy made with the far-right sedition caucus, but we're now starting to see it all unravel.

Members of the House Freedom Caucus railed against McCarthy and the deal he negotiated with President Joe Biden to prevent a global financial crisis. Rep. Chip Roy from Texas was especially furious over the debt ceiling arrangement. He seemed to think he could go full Veruca Salt when Democrats control the White House and Senate. During a press conference that you knew was serious business because Lauren Boebert was present, Roy declared, "President Trump said he thought we should default rather than pursue this kind of lunacy."

Trump wants a default because he's a sociopath who doesn't care what happens to people who aren't Donald Trump. That's his only real policy position, but if Roy genuinely cares about curtailing spending and reducing the national debt, a default won't achieve those ends.

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Ted Cruz Says Uganda Shouldn't Kill Gays, And Christian Extremist MAGAs Are SO MAD (At Him)

Without near enough fanfare or attention from the West, the president of Uganda, Yoweri Museveni, has signed a "kill the gays" bill into law. It calls for a life sentence for anyone who has gay sex, and seven years for trying to, whatever that means. The death penalty would be for those who commit "aggravated homosexuality," which the New York Times says includes "homosexual acts committed by anyone infected with H.I.V. or involving children, disabled people or anyone drugged against their will." If they say you did "attempted aggravated homosexuality," you could go to prison for 14 years. We are sure the processes for determining whether people have violated the law will totally be on the up-and-up.

Oh, and you could go to jail for 20 years for "promoting" homosexuality, which reminds us a bit of Russia, and also the spirit of Ron DeSantis's Florida, even if they haven't quite made it to calling for imprisonment yet.

Putin Signs Newer, Nastier 'Don't Say Gay' Law. Ron DeSantis, U Up?

If this sounds familiar, it's because Uganda has been trying to do this for a while now, starting way back in 2009, with varying degrees of success, and fairly consistent levels of support from American right-wing fascist Christian people and organizations. (Read here to meet Donald Trump's' coup-plotting lunatic lawyer John Eastman in 2015, in his earlier form as John Eastman, lunatic chairman of the National Organization for Marriage, defending Uganda's harsh anti-gay laws.)

But the campaign to make this law happen really got going the last few years, the New York Times explains, with scary stories about "a plot to promote gay activities and lure children in schools to homosexuality." There must be something in the water literally all conservative Christians worldwide drink.

The West and the United Nations tried to get Museveni not to sign the bill. President Joe Biden condemned it, and is threatening sanctions. The implications of this law are terrifying for people's basic human rights, for HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment in Uganda, and so much more. People are terrified.

It's really bad.

But back to the the water conservative Christians drink. American Republican Senator Ted Cruz tweeted to condemn it, which quite frankly surprises us, but hey, let's just allow him to be correct for once.

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Trump, DeSantis Commemorate Memorial Day With Fascist Vow To Exterminate Their Enemies

Donald Trump has shown his ass on Memorial Day for years now. You'll recall his 2015 message: "I would like to wish everyone, including all haters and losers (of which, sadly, there are many) a truly happy and enjoyable Memorial Day!"

The one-term loser spent Memorial Day weekend 2020, when almost 100,000 Americans had died from COVID-19, tweeting gross sexist bile about Nancy Pelosi and Stacey Abrams. This year, he was his usual, petty unhinged self. He dropped this load on his Truth Social site:

"HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY TO ALL," it begins because Trump fundamentally doesn't understand this holiday. The entire rant's in all-caps, but I'll spare your eyes:

But especially to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for the country they love, and to those in line of a very different, but equally dangerous fire, stopping the threats of the terrorists, misfits and lunatic thugs who are working feverishly from within to overturn and destroy our once great country, which has never been in greater peril than it is right now. We must stop the communists, Marxists and fascist ‘pigs’ at every turn and, Make America Great Again!

This seems far less stable than what Jordan Neely reportedly said that scared passengers on a New York subway. Yet, an overwhelming majority of Republican primary voters are ready to give Trump the nuclear codes ... again.

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Kevin McCarthy Agrees To Lift Debt Ceiling In Exchange For Biden Letting Him Paint White House Fence

Good news, everyone! President Joe Biden and House Speaker Kevin McCarthy reached an "agreement in principle" Saturday to raise the debt ceiling and avoid a catastrophic default that would've tanked the global economy. You'd struggle to find McCarthy's principles with a high-powered electron microscope, but the White House seems to think he'll stick to his word.

“No one got everything they want. But that’s the responsibility of governing,” Biden said on Sunday. “It takes the threat of catastrophic default off the table.”

McCarthy actually agreed with these sentiments. He said Sunday morning, "We’re finalizing an agreement with the president that I believe is worthy of the American people. It doesn’t get everything everybody wanted. But that’s, in divided government, that’s where we end up. I think it’s a very positive bill.”


Seriously, McCarthy sounded almost normal when discussing the deal. He even praised Biden’s negotiating team as “very professional, very smart, very tough."

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National Politics

幸运168飞艇官方开奖历史记录 - 168幸运飞行艇开奖直播

Oh my stone God.

If your parents named you "Mark Wayne" and as a nickname, you decided to just stick them two names together and just be "Markwayne," how many brain cells you think you'd have? Four? Six? Baker's dozen?

Watch this clip of Oklahoma Republican Senator Markwayne Mullin interviewing witnesses in today's hearing of the Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee and see how many brain cells you can personally count. (You'll note that he's sitting next to Alabama Republican Senator Tommy Tuberville, who is officially the funnyest motherfucker in the Senate. This will not affect your counting of the brain cells.)

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Conspiracy theories

World Famous Actor 'Dawson Creek' Very Angry At DNC For Some Reason!

Shut up, Joey Potter's funny ex-boyfriend. #TeamPacey

James Van Der Beek was the name of a fictional teenager played by the world-famous actor Dawson Creek on a TV show (some) people who are now over 40 used to watch. In 2005, not long after the show ended in 2003, Van Der Beek was once again in the news when he became the prime suspect in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway in Aruba. The crime is still unsolved, but he is being extradited to the United States oh wait, fuck, that's Joran van der Sloot.

We are always mixing those two up. Van Der Beek was just a TV guy, not a crime guy. And an occasional movie guy, like The Rules of Attraction, which was about American Psycho, and Varsity Blues, which was about "Friday Night Lights."

Point is, you might remember Van Der Beek, you might not. We're not going to do what conservatives do when Beyoncé or somebody says something they don't like, and they pretend they've never heard of her.

But if you have been watching Fox News or consuming other right-wing media today, you might be under the impression that James Van Der Beek is the biggest star in the world.

And he is ANGRY! At the DNC!

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Trump-Backed Nevada Gov. Joe Lombardo Does Right Thing On Abortion Like Almost Normal Person

OK, we'll take it.

Last year, Republican Joe Lombardo narrowly defeated Nevada's incumbent Democratic Gov. Steve Sisolak. This was a cause of some alarm in a post-Roe v. Wade reality. Governors can either actively defend or roll back abortion rights in their states.

Lombardo didn't hide his anti-choice positions during the 2022 gubernatorial campaign. However, he claimed he would support Nevada's existing abortion law, which was passed in 1973 shortly after Roe. The law guarantees the right to an abortion up to a pregnancy's 24th week for any reason — and afterward, if a doctor believes the mother’s life or health is at risk. Nevada voters passed Question 7 in 1990, cementing the law, and it would require another public vote to alter it. (The public, even in deep-red states such as Kansas, tends to support abortion rights when directly asked.)

Most importantly, Lombardo promised that he wouldn't repeal Sisolak's executive order protecting women from prosecution for seeking an abortion in Nevada. Once in office, the former Clark County sheriff has more than kept his word. Tuesday, he signed a measure that codifies the executive order into law.

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